The Waiting Game

Guys and girls, you know the drill. You meet someone and go out on a date. Everything is pleasant- the conversation, the food, the laughs. It seems like you have a lot in common. In short, everything goes well. You don't like to kiss and tell, but you can't help but brag to your friends about what a great date you had.

Then......... it begins. The Waiting Game. Girls, you're waiting for that call. You know, the one that says, "I had a great time. Let's do it again." If you're the guy, you might have called her already (I don't care what anyone or any stupid book says, there is NO rule about exactly when to call) and are waiting for a response.

I never went on a lot of 'first dates' in my youth. (Now you're chuckling because you know that I'm only 25 and a half.) But I'm experiencing all of this now. Minus the free dinners. And awkward hugs.

Interviews are like first dates. There's awkward small talk in the elevator. Suddenly, you're thrust into a one-on-one conversation with someone you do not know and the pressure is on to make the absolute best impression possible. You're supposed to mirror their body images, make eye contact, and act interested in everything they say, while boasting about your skills, hobbies and past experiences.

Then, if all seemingly goes well, you're left with a business card and a glimmer of hope.
"We'll let you know very soon."

..... and The Waiting Game begins.

Do I Exist?

This is not a philosophical query.
Sometimes I wonder.

It's hard not to when you've been flat-out ignored by every company or person you've ever sent your stuff to. Remember when I said that I often wondered if my phone or e-mail was malfunctioning? This is in the same vein, but on a much, much deeper level.

I understand that the current economic state means that every HR rep is constantly flooded with résumés, clever cover letters, voicemails, e-mails, etc. I am not expecting people to contact me if they don't want anything to do with me. But I have dealt with some rather odd occurrences in my job search that led me to ask if my existence was merely a figment of my own imagination (although, if that were the case, even my imagination would be a figment of my imagination.. oh, it never ends!)

In one case, I was contacted by an HR rep who wanted to speak to me about an opening I'd applied for. I was volunteering at the time, so I called her back immediately upon returning home. I left my name, number and a detailed message, as I'd been taught to do back in the Girl Scouts. (Remember that?) After several days went by, I was quite puzzled. I followed up with an e-mail. Still no response. What the heck was going on? Had I dreamed up that initial phone call? Eventually (roughly two weeks later) I got an generic, automated e-mail stating that I unfortunately did not closely match the requirements for this position.

More things have happened to lead to this feeling of invisibility..

So, either I don't exist.... or, I suck. And I just pinched myself to confirm that the former is false. Ow.

My Web site is shoddy. My cover letters are either too generic or too raw. My writing is entirely too dependent on alliterations, puns and rhymes. There, I've got the ball rolling.... now I am reaching out to you, requesting your honest criticism.

http://sites.google.com/site/katiekaleita
Let me have it.

A Thrill Ride

OK, so up until now, I have mostly been focusing my job search in the state of Florida.

However, after my boyfriend Andrew and I vacationed in Philadelphia, I decided that I could see myself settling into life in another state. I have been known to fear change, yet I always seem to make the best out of whatever situation I am put into. I liken it to a healthy combination of fear and excitement. It's like waiting in a 90 minute line to ride a ridiculously scary roller coaster. No less than six times, you contemplate bolting for the exit. But you stick it out, and after a 45-second thrill ride, suddenly "I'm too scared!" has turned into "Let's do it again!"

I started off small (like riding a 'tame' roller coaster, to get in the mood), applying to one job in another state, just for kicks. This was exciting, so I continued. You see, for me, clicking "apply" and cranking out another cover letter gives me a temporary rush (not unlike the one you'd feel after a trip on the Hulk). So applying to one gives me the confidence to apply to more. And so on.

This snowball effect has recently led me to apply to jobs in D.C., Philadelphia, Atlanta, Austin and Nashville so far.

I've waited in line for two hours. I've got my lap-bar down and locked in. Just waiting for the ride to start.

Livin' on a prayer

I came home from vacation (I'll tackle that subject later) to find a prayer card on the counter, with a note from my Mother. She'd been at the church office, purchasing a Mass Card for a friend whose father had recently passed, when another card caught her eye.

For anyone who is unfamiliar with Catholicism, we have funny traditions. (In my opinion, at least) Sitting, standing and kneeling aside, we also pray to different saints for various reasons. St. Joseph is the patron saint of several things, including families, fathers, expectant mothers, travelers, home buyers and sellers, etc. Many real estate agents and homeowners bury mini statues of St. Joseph upside-down around a house when trying to sell it. Hey, I told you our traditions were funny.

Anyway, it seems St. Joseph is also the patron saint of working folk. I had no idea until I saw this card, which read:

Prayer to St. Joseph for Employment

Dear Saint Joseph,

You were yourself once faced with the responsibility of providing the necessities of life for Jesus and Mary. Look down with fatherly compassion upon me in my anxiety over my present inability to support my family. Please help me find gainful employment very soon, so that this heavy burden of concern will be lifted from my heart and that I am soon able to provide for those whom God has entrusted to my care. Help us to guard against bitterness and discouragement, so that we may emerge from this trial spiritually enriched and with even greater blessings from God. Amen.

So... if you're out there St. Joseph... I'm looking for a copywriting position. If you know what that is. You had banner ads in Biblical times, right?

Happy (Un) Labor Day!

We can thank the 22nd/24th President of the United States, Grover Cleveland, for our early September 3-day weekend. It seems the US military accidentally killed some labor workers during the Pullman Strike. (Oops!) Thus, the legislation to make Labor Day a national holiday was hastily passed. Next, Congress ordered SEARS to put their stainless steel BBQ grills on sale.

Revisionist history aside, today is a day to celebrate the strength of the American worker. I hope you've all rested up, drank up... and geared up for the long journey that awaits between now and Thanksgiving. (Or Veterans Day... you lucky duck). It's been awhile, but I can still remember what it's like. And to my unemployed brethren, don't feel left out... the way things are going, the legislation for (un) Labor Day is likely in the works.

Tricky Questions

"Have you started looking for a job yet?" 
Believe it or not, a close friend of mine was asked this question five months after she was laid off. What exactly did this person think she was doing for five months? We may never know. What we do know, however, is that after applying to 117 jobs, she recently scored a new position. The 118th time's a charm.

"How's the job search going?" 
We know you're just trying to be nice. But there are some people who have asked me this question no less than 20 times. And frankly, I'm just running out of things to tell them. Is it going "well" if you've found and applied to 74 jobs, without hearing back? Or do you just say, "terrible" and deal with the look of horror/guilt on their face as you change the subject?

And then there's this one. It's how we all greet each other now that we're adults. It used to be easy to answer, but if you've just lost your job and you're not prepared, it could stop you in your tracks:
"So, what do you do?"

My boyfriend and I totally perfected the answer to this one recently. I've been freelancing since February- the money is steady, since I'm working on a retainer, but it's not much when compared to a full-time salary. He's working hard for a startup game company, and won't see payment until an investor comes in the picture. We were out at a bar, when the dreaded question came up. "What do you do?" Without skipping a beat, we answered. "I'm a freelance writer." "I work in video games." Our interrogator almost walked away out of jealousy.
Fake it 'til you make it, right?

If I have offended you..... you have probably asked one too many questions. ;)
Or.. you've forgotten that I'm never serious.

The Stages of Unemployment

This is probably only relevant to the 20-something's out there. I have noticed there seem to be particular things that many of us have done.....

Stage 1: Fun 
Immediately following your layoff, you notify one or two members of your family and one friend. It's not exactly an easy thing to tell people, so you can rely on the magic of the grapevine to spread this news. Don't worry-- in a few days, all of your friends will know. Now, you think of all the things you can do now that you don't have a job. Staying up super late? Drinking on a weeknight? Don't mind if I do! Matinee movies, mid-week happy hours, shopping in empty grocery stores-- these are all the pleasures of the newly unemployed. Many of us also use this time to take a spontaneous vacation. I spent my first few weeks unemployed doing all of these things. Since my boyfriend had just been laid off, we saw a matinee on my very first day (Quantum of Solace). We went to the bar on a Thursday night. We woke up late, walked downtown and ate ice cream for lunch. He went snowboarding in Colorado, I spent a week in Gainesville. Stage 1 is fun.  


Stage 2: Guilt 
You start to feel guilty about all of the fun you've been having, while others are chained to their desks. After sowing your wild, unemployed oats, you decide to get down to business. You read five different résumé tutorials, overhaul your Web site, update your portfolio and send all of it to a recruiter (well, we creatives do, anyway). You become privy to the essential tools of job searching, including e-mail alerts from Monster, CareerBuilder and Indeed. You make yourself sound like a superstar on your LinkedIn profile. Surely, people will be fighting over you. How could they not?  


Stage 3: What Now? 
It's starting to get to you. After applying to 35 jobs you swear you are perfectly qualified for, you wonder if your phone has malfunctioned. And maybe your e-mail is filtering your job offers to the SPAM folder. No such luck. What now? Where is your career going? How long will it be like this? Will you have to (gulp) move back in with your parents? So many haunting questions remain unanswered. Stage 3 is also when you begin to feel burned out from incessantly job searching. The time has come to head back to the bar for Thursday night's happy hour. Although this time, it's totally guilt-free.  

Stage 4: Flip-Flop 
By now, you've completely accepted the way things are. That doesn't stop you from flip-flopping back and forth between hope and despair. One minute, you're applying for a job slightly above your qualifications, because you KNOW you can do it. After (finally) scoring an interview, you are certain you can land this position. This leads you to search for apartments on Craigslist, just to get ahead of the game. You don't want to get the job and be caught off guard, do you? The interview goes well. But as the days pass by and your phone calls and e-mails to the lovely HR rep go unanswered, you realize that once again you have gotten your hopes up. Hello, despair. Don't worry though, hope is just around the corner. Again.  

Stage 5:  
I can only assume that this is when you finally land a job. ::Crosses fingers::